8.24.2006

Ruse of Transportation Safety

After the London arrests in the plot to blow up U.S.-bound flights, the oxymoronically-named Transportation Security Administration (TSA) implemented new security screening procedures in a vain attempt to make airline travel more secure.

One of the most absurd policies state that, "Beverages purchased in the boarding area beyond the screening checkpoint will not be allowed on board, and must be consumed before boarding." What this means is that beverages which have already passed through security are a risk to in-flight airline safety. So would this not mean that the mere presence of these security risks (formerly known as beverages) in a secure area renders the "secure area" to really be insecure?

I'll confess that I contributed to the insecurity last week on my trip. At the risk of arrest, confinement, illegal wiretaps, and everything else that could potentially result, I carried a travel-sized tube of toothpaste in my pocket to prove that regardless of how better the mousetrap, the mouse will still win. I wasn't frisked, questioned, or even given a second look when I passed through the metal detector with my contraband toothpaste.

And despite the newest policy which mandates all shoes (sandals, etc.) be sent through x-ray screening, I wasn't required to take off my Tevas as I passed through security on my outbound flight, but I was on my return. I'd suggest that I have an exponentially higher likelihood of catching athlete's foot as I walk barefoot through security than being victim of a terrorist act as the result of a shoe bomb, and it has nothing to do with airline security. In fact, after reading TSA's explanation of why they've implemented this new screening procedure, I'd suggest that someone carrying the balloon-filled explosive in a shoe would merely transfer the explosive to their pocket and then return it to their shoe after passing through "security".

Q: What are the most oft feared words to a taxpayer?
A: "I'm from the government, and I'm here to help!"