Men's Restrooms are Disgusting

Since reporting several months ago that my oldest daughter is potty training, things have gotten better. To combat the issue of being woken up at 3:00am, Fiona is wearing an overnight diaper, so everyone is getting a good night's sleep.

With my project house complete, I've been able to spend a lot more time on the weekends with the family. And since my wife and I share responsibilities, I've recently had more opportunities to take Fiona to go potty in public restrooms. Through these public potty outings, I've become consciously aware of something that I've known all of my life but never cared about: men's restrooms are disgusting. For women fortunate enough to have never ventured into one, let me paint the picture:

Men have bad aim. I have never gone into a men's restroom and seen a floor devoid of urine. At best there is just a puddle around the toilets, and at worst there is a 1/4 inch of urine covering the floor. Yes, it's disgusting.

Men have bad aim + men are inherently lazy. If a urinal isn't available and they're forced to use a commode, few men take the effort to raise the toilet seat before taking a whiz. And just as men pee all over the bathroom floor, they also pee on toilet seats as well.

Men have bad aim + men are inherently lazy + men use bathrooms to purge waste. Men not only use bathrooms for going pee and poo, but men also use bathrooms to blow their nose... and few use a kleenex or handkerchief so the snot ends up on the wall or floor. Disgusting, I know, but wait--there's more!

From my unscientific sampling, 50% of the toilet seats in men's restrooms are broken or otherwise defective. Of this 50%, most have a hinge broken or are poorly installed, resulting in a very unstable seat... especially for a 3 year-old. From this same unscientific sampling, 15% of bathroom stalls in men's restrooms lack a suitable product with which to wipe. Most are simply out of toilet paper; others have toilet paper stained by a previous occupant's errant pee stream; and some have a broken holder which dispenses single squares... if you're lucky.

And upon using a road-side gas station bathroom, if a man suddenly finds himself randy on his way out the door, there is usually an assortment of condoms and novelties available for purchase from a bathroom wall dispenser like this one in a Mississippi gas station.

My picture is painted. As a result of the general disgusting condition of men's restrooms, I have a simple rule for my daughter when I take her to go potty: sit still and don't touch a thing!